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Tony's personal story

It all started when she moved in. A few months into our relationship, my partner had an altercation with her dad. They were always constantly fighting and arguing as they both feel the need to be ‘Alpha’. I didn't realise this at the start. One night I received a call from her in tears asking if she could stay over for one night, and me being open hearted and caring I said if course and picked her up. She manipulated her way into staying full time, then things started getting uncontrollably hard.

She would constantly manipulate me with ‘if you don't do that, I won't do this’. At the start I was blind. I really liked this girl so I would do anything for her. Then she started restricting my time with my friends and my weekly phone calls to my parents and started becoming violently possessive and would get angry and make it seem like it was my fault. At this point, she had already got my name on the lease and power bill, so I felt inclined to stay. The possessiveness became worse as she would constantly go through my phone, constantly accusing me of cheating. There were clear signs that I wasn't but she would just say it anyway. She stopped all contacts I had with close girls that I had as friends that I could call sisters, she would constantly text and ring me when I was not around and she got jealous if a girl even looked at me. She would go off at me and it would be my fault.

She was constantly putting me down and making me feel small, would say I don't work hard enough (apprentice), would make me come home after a hard day's work and cook and clean, go to the shops and just constantly manipulate me into being her ‘slave’. The abuse wasn't just from her, her father constantly abuses me as well and she just sits there, then says its normal and I just have to go with it. Every time I have tried to leave this relationship she threatens to kill herself, she hits my car, she hits me. I have run out of options and I am scared to tell anyone as no one believes that this sort of thing happens to men. It's emotionally draining and it feels like there is no way out.

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