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Unspoken abuse: Mothers who rape their sons | Ginger Gorman | news.com.au

TRIGGER WARNING: This story discusses experiences of childhood sexual abuse, incest and suicide.

“I AM very sorry I brought you so much pain,” Marcus* wrote in his final letter, “Thank you for caring for me. I know I didn’t deserve it.”

Marcus died by suicide two years ago and when he did, he left University of Canberra researcher Lucetta Thomas a message.

The sentence that stayed with her was this one: “The only course of action is for you to do something positive, like finish the PhD.”

To an outsider, these could be understood as simple words of encouragement. Lucetta knew their real meaning; this was an urgent final plea.

The PhD she’s currently writing is about sons who were sexually abused by their biological mothers — just as Marcus had been.

Since she met him, Lucetta had witnessed Marcus struggling to come to terms with what happened to him in childhood.

“He was not only sexually abused by his mother from a very young age but when he became older and was able to physically prevent her from abusing him, she engaged another friend to be her strong arm so she could continue the acts of sexual violence against him,” Lucetta explains.

“When Marcus died, I knew I had to finish the research. I didn’t want this to happen to anyone else. I wanted these men to know they aren’t alone and it’s not their fault. There is help out there,” she says.

It turns out Marcus is far from alone. For Lucetta’s study, 94 men who had been abused by their mothers filled out online surveys. Of that number, she then interviewed 23 men at length over the phone.

Click here to read the full story on the news.com.au website.

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Throughout recent history, male politicians and law makers have minimized the consequences of mother or other female perpetrated child sex abuse. It has been hypothesized the reason for this is that many of these male leaders project their own sexual fantasies onto the act of female perpetrated sex abuse. We now know that this minimization of the consequences has been completely misguided. Research shows that men who were sexually abused by their mothers , much more frequently experience long-term difficulties with substance abuse, self-injury, suicide, depression, rage, strained relationships with women, self-concept and identity issues, and a discomfort with sex. Put simply their lives are ruined because these male and female victims of mother-child sex abuse get no help and are even condemned for revealing the abuse. Just as concerning, however, is the broader society’s insistence to deny the occurance of mother and female perpetrated child sex abuse because ‘ 'any emphasis on female abusers would reduce the focus of male perpetrated child sex abuse’. This has been a clever way of ignoring the serious crime of mother-child sex abuse. Even though surveys clearly show that mother-child sexual abuse is much more common than assumed by society, there has been little action taken by male leaders. Probably the only time this will change is when there are more female judges and prosecutors appointed in the criminal justice system. Until then, male and female victims of mother-child sex abuse are not going to get the help that is desperately needed.

January 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFactsseeker

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