If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.



Geoff's personal story

On my first date with my first girlfriend, we met up in a shopping centre. It was large and while not packed with people, it was fairly busy. We sat down on a seat and started talking. I'm a nervous guy on my first ever date, so I was shy and awkward.

To ‘break the ice’ my then girlfriend lent over and jokingly asked me “What would happen if I screamed out RAPE!!!!” (yelling the word rape, like really yelling). The whole shopping centre stops, turns and stares at me. I instantly die on the inside, and can't even stop myself shriveling up into a ball because of the looks people were giving me. A number of people came over and ask if she is OK and ask what happened. She awkwardly had to tell people that nothing happened and it was a joke however this doesn't stop people continuing to come over. A few people kicked my chair as they walked past and one person spat on me, even though they saw that nothing happened.

We left after that. Because I stupidly thought that I was in love I stayed with her until she broke up with me a few weeks later for “not being her prince charming”. I should have broken it off then and there. I don't know why I didn't hear the alarm bells going off after this incident.

Now Im scared to even be hugged by my little sister in public, out of fear that I'll be accused of being a pedophile among other things.

I know this is just one incident and not a history of domestic violence, but I think it highlights the way that men are treated when it comes to issues like this even in a day to day context.


Brad's personal story

finding this site has made believe in myself and my humanity. when i read the accounts as i do i actually feel inspired to think that there ARE great men. I can only feel that as a Man i'm inspired by your stories of endurance of the harrowing experience that I have also had to endure. Yet, as i write this, i feel that i am in danger, by the woman that i loved so dearly. and your accounts mirror and reflect my own.

where do i begin? probably just as a young man. a man in formation.. meeting a young woman at a bar. it was a moment, love at first sight is how i remember it. now having experienced this relationship of 7 years i feel i know that a woman can be evil. its such a difficult thing to say, i tried so hard, yet i failed .... i'm fully a man now, just broken and or damaged. I have an ex partner who is psychotic and violent. who has used violence, of emotional (verbal) and physical form.. in all forms and times.. it has tested me to my limit.. and my god.. i think she would attempt to take my life..

the domestics at 3 am? her knocking me unconscious? (and going in to attack me whilst? only to be stopped by a guest) stabbing all four tires of my car?.. i had women (friends of hers call me a loser and herself 50 + plus times) . having some of them accuse me of having a sexual relationship with the mentally handicapped girl that lived with us at the time? and the subsequent and most evil way she handled it*.

*i was continually abused about this. “are u Fucking ----- ?” at various times of the night, screaming . i sat at a table while she abused me verbally for 3-4 hours at night on a Friday. (her aunt , cousins daughter and her daughter in an adjacent room) she held a kettle and said.. i will pour this over your head and i don't give a shit if i go to jail or not.. it was at this point my bravery failed and i stood up..

i hope its over..this is part 1. the relationship.. probably the aftermath is to come


Darryl's personal story

I thought it was normal for a man to be bit, kicked, scratched and have cold water thrown over you if you did something wrong. I admit I was using drugs at the time but I told my partner my problem and she chose to stay. Unfortunately I fell in love with her, and it was 3 years of abuse non-stop. I still feel that I truly love my abuser and I still feel I deserved it.

It was not until recently that I joined a mens rights group that I realised I was a victim of DV. Calling Mensline was hopeless, I would wait an hour just to talk to someone and I called a local DV line but it was for women and I heard them laughing in the background when I said I need a counsellor. It is still a hard time and I can't get that person out of my head.

Additionally, my University program at Griffith University, consent program, portrays straight white men as the perpetrators with strong links to known feminists in the resource list. I am so sick of being a victim and a perpetrator. I need help. This has ruined my life. I have never ever ever done anything wrong by a woman yet I am always painted as a child molester at a local pool. I actually like to swim in the kids pool as it the water is low and I can lie back. I have to take my wife with me as the guards say it not appropriate for men to be alone with children in a public pool. Ridiculous. I care about everyone. I would stand up for a woman if she was getting hit and so would most men I know. So, why are we all displayed as the evil ones.


Bryne's personal story

Learning about some of the legal issues relating to domestic violence has been a very un-nerving road for my son to travel upon. Police action throughout his introduction to an Interim Domestic Violence Order has been at best questionable, now having read the NSW Police brochure on DV freely available on the web.

Trying to gain more information on the available help that is for a PINOP (in this case a male) I searched the public records of documents available on the NSW Health web site. “Domestic violence” was the search and to my joy hundreds of references to documents streamed down the page about females. OK, moving to the next appropriate search, 'Domestic violence against males". NO RESULTS FOR THIS SEARCH. NO, NSW Health should have some answers.

OK, next, a personal visit to the Local Health District and get it from the horse's mouth. "I'm here about domestic violence against a male." The person puts her hand up and as quick said, "we only deal with females, you need to go to someone like the Mens Shed, they might help you." Righto, off I go with phone number in hand after thanking NSW Health for their help.

"Hello this is the Mens Shed, how can we help you?" "I know a victim of domestic violence and I need some directioning." "Are you contemplating self harm?" "No." "Do you suffer from depression, we can help you with that?" "No." "Well I don't think we can help you."

Well back to Mr. Google and what do I find, One In Three. Read lots of good information. Well at least we have read many letters from males with the same issues. My final comment, in this country THE LAW IS AN ASS, 30 per cent is a huge figure statistically speaking. Who will save our men from domestic violence discrimination? What do our politically correct army have to say?



Josh's personal story

I experienced my first sexual interactions at 7-9 with my brother's girlfriend who was 16 at the time. I lived in a house of two victims of childhood abuse. My parents were often sexually inappropriate especially my mother and I'm unsure if we had sex. I had nightmares that we did while we shared the bed and she seducingly told me she would have dreams we were having sex.

My sister who was 5 years older also touched me in very arousing ways asking if I needed help while masturbating. Now when I am intimate I need to relive these experiences. I have been suicidal most of my life and since 13 have never been able to experience pleasure. I have tried every type of psych or counsellor, even self-referring myself to forensic psychologists to try to heal but they are useless. Often comparing stressful moments to being stuck in traffic.

I am desperate for help. I live in Victoria and am desperate for someone who can actually treat these problems effectively with me. If someone knows of a reliable source who can actually deal with these problems please email me. Thank you.