TELL YOUR STORY

If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

PERSONAL STORIES FROM MALE VICTIMS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Sunday
Dec172017

Daniel's personal story

I was with my ex-boyfriend for just 4 months and he was financially, emotionally, physically and sexually abusive.

What he did to me:

  • Made me sleep with him
  • Accused me of having affairs with other men
  • Drowned me in the path
  • Hit and punched me
  • Attempted to push me down the stairs
  • Would say that it was my fault
  • Would say that I deserved it.

I finally left him and went to the police and reported him and they said because I was a male I should just fight back.

Thursday
Dec142017

Jason's personal story

Keep going... that's my best piece of advice to you, keep going and forgive yourself. I married a domestic abuser when I was 20 years old. For the next four and a half years she beat me every time I didn't say things the way she wanted in public and “embarrassed” her. She would always promise it was the last time, even when I would lay on the floor crying out for God to forgive her as she kicked my ribs in. It was always the last time.

Her father also beat me every time his daughter and I would have a disagreement; all she had to do was cry in front of him and he'd beat me. The last time he hit me so many times that he broke one of my teeth. I finally had enough of it after they started hitting me in front of the kids, and they were getting old enough to remember. I made the mistake of never reporting the abuse to the police, and the court system favoured the mother in our divorce. I was devastated. I went from being a stay at home dad and business owner to being destitute, bankrupt, and working a nightmare job to pay child support. I desperately tried to fight to see my children more.

It took me a decade to rebuild my life and find a partner who would love me. I spent years wracked with guilt over not being able to help my children, but I learned that sometimes the best option is to leave. If I hadn't left, they would have kept their repeated promise of killing me. Worse than that, my children would have grown up thinking it was normal to see me being beaten. At least now there is the chance they might someday know the truth.

So forgive yourself, and don't be afraid to move on. Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation, and the only solution is to save your own life. I tried everything I could, but the system is stacked against men. Sometimes you just have to forgive yourself and keep going.

Monday
Dec112017

Michael's personal story

My mother mentally abused my father from whenever I was able to remember. Constant put downs of how he hadn't achieved what others had and how that impacted her in mostly a financial/possession way. She did this in front of us as kids and was accepted by the family as normal. The constant throwing out or “cleaning” of his possessions when he was not around was common place and often the stage for an argument when he came home from work. Quite often I would retrieve his things from the bin when my mum wasn't looking.

One night I was in my room and felt an uneasy thud on the family room floor. Went out to find my dad atop of my mum strangling her after a full day of verbal abuse, and I remember thinking that Dad has snapped and I don't blame him. The abuse my father suffered has affected me throughout my life as I have always since been defensive whenever I feel my partner now wife has an upper hand. With the help of a psychiatrist I am getting help. Have attempted to discuss this openly with my Mum but she has always just simply passed it off. My father passed 15 years ago and since my Mum has always spoken about him in glowing terms? Hope my sharing helps others share. Xxxx

Friday
Dec082017

Mark's personal story

I am a forty year old man and I grew up in a family where my mother was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive. Every day of our lives as kids was spent in fear of what events would occur that day. My father was a gentle man and was stabbed one time, hit over the head with a brick in which it fractured his skull, chased down the street with a knife, plates thrown at him, yelling screaming constantly and the list goes on and on.

I personally as a young boy was hit on a regular basis with a golf club, baseball bat and anything else she could find at the time. I was a shy child and in grade four developed hyperhidrosis (profuse sweating) and an extreme fear of being attacked. I wouldn't speak and would lock myself in my room to avoid my mother. I grew up in constant fear and terror of the next time the violence would turn towards me instead of someone else in my family.

My baby sister continually wet the bed all through primary school, my eldest brother became heavily involved in drugs in order to ease the pain and my eldest sister has never recovered. My father passed away of a heart attack at an early age and I have attended many years of continual counselling. I don't believe I will ever fully recover yet over the years I have built a strong resilience through continual study and male mentors that have helped me in ways I could never fully express.

Monday
Dec042017

Stephen's personal story

Just over six years ago, my ex alienated me from our children, disconnected the phone and moved children without notice and without address for children, then the intimidating tactics and false allegations started, as well as threats of violence due to asking to see the children publicly, her family and friends have even been helping her ever since. She refuses any access and any correspondence and contact with children, I don't know if they are dead or alive. The psychological abuse and other abuse she is doing to me and the child, is domestic violence apparently supported by our government and society, asking for 50/50. Her threats of saying I am dangerous etc, and her gaslighting and baiting is also unbelievable, I don't know how to deal with the violence and threats