TELL YOUR STORY

If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

PERSONAL STORIES FROM MALE VICTIMS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Sunday
Aug122018

Emma's personal story

I watched my mother abuse my father for years even after a divorce. She was a white Australian woman married to a Pakistani muslim man. He was a good man who integrated to the country, studied, worked hard and never took a handout. My mother use to spit, strangle and throw things at him.

He found out she was cheating, but she accused him of cheating and threw him out of the house and he cried outside in the rain for twelve hours. She used the family court to rob him of his money and only kept him around for limited access. He used to give her more money under the table just to see us as she threatened to accuse him of marital rape and domestic violence. This was shortly after 9/11 and anti-muslim sentiments were high. He wouldn't have stood a chance in court.

As we got older we started to defend him from her and she started to make false reports that he was a terrorist to ASIO, which put him under investigation. It caused him to have a heart attack a few weeks later. He survived. One day when we were all in our teens, we went to his house and put our foot down and said we were going to live with him. She took a bus from another city to his place (we had gone out for the day and my dad's brother, wife and kids were at the house) and smashed the windows and kicked in the door demanding to see us.

The police came and we came too, if it wasn't for us kids defending my dad and the fact we were older teens, she would have been able to take us. She didn't have a court order so the police had to let us stay, but did not charge her for vandalising property. She went to a mental hospital later that day (which I consider a dose of karma) and has been a thorn in our side ever since.

My dad had a happy ending though getting to spend time with us in our teenage years, he eventually remarried a nice respectful woman from his country and had two new baby girls to add to the family.

Friday
Aug102018

Paul's personal story

I was with my partner for 11 months not living together no kids just see each other for travel and weekends away. We planned a holiday away to Bali together and my partner left a week earlier than me and I met her a week later.

When I arrived everything was just perfect as it had been for the past 11 months. Then 2 days later out of the blue she beat the hell out of me with a wooden stick in Bali and then the next day stole $4000 dollars Australian from the safe that was mine.

It seems my former ex had found out and rang her and said some nasty stuff about me. My ex has been out of my life for 3 years but constantly stalks me. So I end up in hospital and report it to the police in Bali and the Australian Consulate. By then my partner had fled Bali and back to Australia and put a false DVO on me.

I went to court and the judge said, "I don't care what she did to you in Bali. Police reports and medical reports mean nothing." I asked the question why she has the right to put a DVO on me when I was assaulted and robbed. His answer was, "in her statement she fears you". That's all she put. No violence. No name calling. No nothing. But the judge said, and I quote, "I don't care what happened in Bali. It's not domestic violence." It didn't happen here in Queensland.

We both live here. We are both Australian. The AFP police want nothing to do with it. The local police won't help. So if you beat up your partner overseas and bob them, it's fine. You can't be touched in Australia.

This DVO system in Queensland is just ridiculous and it's not being used properly by women and men. Judges treat men like idiots. The one I had was against me and treated me like nothing. He even asked if I had enough money to go to a mention and said I will be paying her legal bill.

It's just not fair. Please publish this. Domestic violence, wherever in the world you are, is domestic violence. This judge says it is not.

Monday
Aug062018

John's personal story

My partner of over 3 years constantly screams at me and punches me when she doesn't get what she wants. Threats from her are constant. Drink driving stalking me. Phone calls and texts at all hours making threats and pics of self-harming. Harassing myself, my parents and mutual friends. She even made a complaint that I raped her. What makes this worse is that she was a police officer of 11 years before finally being released due to PTSD. I applied 3 times for an AVO and was overturned each time by the magistrate. Fortunately for myself she lives in the area command that she worked in and all the staff knew her well. Still, I was put though the embarrassment of an investigation and off the record several officers she worked with knew that it was a bogus complaint by her.

She would not allow me to do anything by myself. I had to account for every second of the day. Constant accusations made that I was unfaithful with “her” friends. I am also a survivor of multiple assaults including sexual by both males and females. I myself have PTSD from a workplace incident which has been so far 4 years in the court system. I also have bipolar disorder which has made my life an utter nightmare. Unfortunately when a complaint is made against a male it is typical to be dragged off in handcuffs. I was lucky that her previous work colleagues knew her well and I have no police history at all. Where is my protection in all of this????

Thursday
Aug022018

Steven's personal story

I was a victim of domestic violence for years at the hands of my former partner who suffered from mental illness. I was verbally denigrated on a daily basis, hit with objects, had my tooth knocked out, and then had the threat of having our children withheld from me if I ever left. I spoke to her family about it and was told to simply “man up”.

Now almost 6 years after leaving, we have joint equal custody of our children, however she assaulted me about 6 months ago in front of our 5 year old son. I decided that enough was enough and made a police report and she was arrested and charged with assault and had an intervention order placed against her. The courts however chose not to prosecute, her lawyer citing that I had beat up my claims and that she couldn't have done any real harm to me. The intervention order stood however.

Sunday
Jul292018

Antonio's personal story

I've been the victim of a psycho girlfriend, who constantly beat me up, for years. I've been strangled till almost not breathing any more, I had my nose broken by punches, I had her nails sunk in my skin just a few millimetres below my eye, I've been hit with high heels, with full cans of beer, I've been kicked out of the house at night, I had a black eye or a swollen lip so many times that I can't even remember the exact number. She even forbid me from speaking with my mum on the phone. In addition to this I had to bear all the jokes from my work colleagues who found out my girlfriend used to beat me up. The only time the police visited our home, it was when she called them. Despite the fact that I was clearly the one who got beaten up and she had no marks on her, the cops ordered me to leave the house for the night or else I would have been arrested.