TELL YOUR STORY

If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

PERSONAL STORIES FROM MALE VICTIMS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Friday
Aug312018

Paul's personal story

My ex-wife of 18 years who I loved my entire marriage used physical violence, verbal violence and sex as a power or control weapon. I never verbally or physically attacked or threatened my wife our entire marriage (why would you I thought?). I never told anyone about the physical hits to my head, arms and face when she became violent, I just blocked my face and waited until she calmed down. She told me on many occasions, "Hit me!", "Why don't you hit me? You know you want to". She never hit our 2 children, just myself.

The verbal abuse was far worse as it breaks you down slowly and the way the children spoke to me by the time they were teenagers mirrored their mother. My wife made me beg for sex and refused any advances and acts of intimacy or courting, foreplay, etc. I had sex once or twice a year and she would laugh at me if I was less then long lasting.

I was not a nerdy husband and played rugby, had degrees and a profession, did weights, earned 250k pa, never lied to her and loved and cared for my family. The mental damage of this domestic violence after my wife divorced me and had a long-term affair with my friend left me numb and low self esteem. The children didn't want to live or stay with me as 13 and 18. I started drinking, couldn't sleep and had a broken heart and mind.

I feel for any person who is a victim of domestic violence but men live in just as much silence. What upsets me still is advertising ads showing the wife and children laughing, putting down, not respecting, not giving a bit of love in many family ads. Dads can cook, clean, nurture, support, care educate just as much as women and do it far more then the media portrays. Marriage is not a competition marriage or a power or control game. It's unconditional love and violence has no place. Now single, I have met a number of women (not all) who are extremely aggressive and man-haters. Education at home and at schools and for mentors and role models are needed for young men and women.

Thursday
Aug302018

Doug's personal story

Hello. I just found this site. I'm going through what this site is for with men. I've been spending all my time now at my mother's house back shed. It's a 2×1 room - very small. I have no family, no friends, and I'm having a lot of dangerous flashbacks on her actions done to me. I woke up from one in the middle of a busy road.

What I hear from the men who speak up is the same with me. How my ex got away with trying to kill me shocks me as the police always favour her. Eleven years - I'm very broken now. I'm 24 hours a day scared about her next attempt to scheme something that will cause great harm. I just don't know who I can speak to face-to-face. It may help me anyway. Thanks though. I don't really expect a response.

Monday
Aug272018

Steven's personal story

Again I feel sorry for all of the men out there that suffer this WITHOUT HELP. It happened to me last weekend again. I have to tread on eggshells around my own home, careful not not agitate or start a conversation that may make my partner explode in verbal and threatening actions.

On the weekend of the 27th September my partner was asleep (4.30pm) on the bed. I was sitting on the bed. Our eldest son walked past and said, "are you OK?". It woke my partner and she exploded in a rage, bad-mouthing our son for waking her up. I tried to calm her down but there was nothing I could say or do, but it escalated and her screaming and rage increased, to the stage where I was screaming back.

The next thing I know the police were at the door arresting me and placing me in the back of the van. She claimed I said to her, "I will kill you!". It's a false accusation but it worked in her favour. There was nothing I could say to the police that would convince them that she was making this up. I was charged and an AVO was placed on me. I was not to have contact with her or go to my home for 3 weeks until court.

But before I was even released from the police station she was contacting me saying she was sorry. She even tried to cancel the AVO. Before I left the station THE POLICE WERE NOT INTERESTED NOR DID THEY CARE. They proceeded. I was released at the station, and my son was told to pick Dad up and bring him home - against the AVO order. I'm still here, 3 days later and all is good for the meantime anyway. We had dinner that night together and she was very apologetic but the fact remains I was NOT BELIEVED. I WAS THE INSTIGATOR. I AM GUILTY EVEN IF THE OTHER PARTY ADMITS THERE'S A MISTAKE AND OVER-EXAGGERATED THE COMPLAINT.

I am in breach of the AVO but I am the breadwinner of the household, and she is trying very hard to please me NOW. But beware, there is just too much media attention to the females who falsely accuse males, and then regret their action but its too late. Damage is done. This is the 3rd time she has done this, and all time retracted the complaint, but the police don't listen. Good luck guys - its a struggle out there.

Thursday
Aug232018

Scott's personal story

I am a victim. I would like to know how my ex-wife can claim she was assaulted at a changeover with the children. She put our sons through horrible and terrifying pain and trauma just to get what she wanted. Kids needs both natural parents and not interference from those who push their own agenda to pacify their own ego. Bullying and parental alienation are all forms of emotional abuse. Psychopathy is an emotional dysfunction. I believe she committed perjury and made false allegations in her last affidavit for the children/family court. She does not have backing behind her claims. It was her emotional abuse of withholding the children from me and other family members.

What's wrong with our legal system when a judge sends a little 6 year old boy back to his mother who is the abuser? There was so much evidence and none of it was taken into account and the judge made her own presumptions from only accusations from the mothers side. What's worse is DOCS said they had enough evidence, but are not going to do anything about it. WTF! “If this little boy dies or gets seriously hurt, what then?”. Is this how we protect our kids and the kids in our community, by not doing anything until they're DEAD?

Thursday
Aug162018

Jack's personal story

My story has recently been referred to as a horror story by my physiologist. After 20 years it still affects my relationships. 7 Years of verbal abuse and physical abuse including beatings and attempted stabbings. Trying to protect my kids throughout the madness. Watching my ex-wife put carving knives to my kids' throats.

I have recently written a book about my experience, the first is called Aussie Larrikins which explains my upbringing and the second is Married to a Larrikin. They are available as ebooks on the website www.smashwords.com and also any leading ebook distributor. Married to a Larrikin goes into a lot of detail regarding a horrific marriage at the hands of a narcissistic woman who had no control. After 20 years I decided to tell my story and it was the hardest thing I've ever done to re-live a nightmare. It is a story rarely told and as many would know, as a male you are limited with options and where to turn to.