TELL YOUR STORY

If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

PERSONAL STORIES FROM MALE VICTIMS OF FAMILY VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Saturday
Nov072009

Son, talking about parents

Never, never in her life. Up until dad left, she held the reins in the house. It was unbearable; her pedantic scrutinies were like police interrogations. He practically made the bloody money, he would give her the lot and than beg for pocket money. And he made a lot of money, I couldn't believe that he had to go through all that. Even doing the shopping a day late would upset her, and would lead to a grand fight. Every one knew of her moods, and dad played always by ear and we managed to get by with little disruption on her part. But there were times when it didn't work. Then... poor dad. I had seen him walking naked in the back yard at night all upset and embarrassed; and I had seen him crawling under the bed to escape her vicious attacks, and I have seen him nursing his fresh wounds in the toilet, and he would say no word against her... When he left mom, I was very sad because I knew that I would miss him, but I felt also happy, because I knew that he was a decent man and that he deserved better.

Saturday
Nov072009

Son, talking about father

Most fights I remember happened around the table, in the lounge or in the car. In most cases the slap, kick or punch came out of the blue, out of nowhere, almost without a reason. I remember dad reacting always by complaining: ‘What have I done to deserve this!’, ‘Why did you do that’, or ‘What have I done again?’. Then he would whine and push and shove while she would continue with her calculated attacks, until he... I mean he had enough. Often he would run injured to the bedroom and lock up the door. Mom's usual reaction was: ‘Don't worry, he'll get over it soon’.

Saturday
Nov072009

David

After I had ended my relationship with this woman, she still had a key to my house. She kept on letting herself in when I was home. I managed to persuade her to hand over the key. I had a spare one hidden. She found it and began to use that. I felt I was being stalked. I would wake up in the morning and she would be in the house. But as a man I don't have any right to use the power that I have - which is physical. If I had thrown her out the door she would have gone to the police and they would have said, ‘what did he do to you?’ and I would be in gaol. I stopped leaving a spare key outside, and then one day she smashed the front door in. It was as though she was telling me that she owned me. I had no privacy, no sanctuary from her - not even my own bed. My programming as a man meant that I was unable, physically, to push her away. A woman can overpower a man and he has no recourse in society. Therefore he has nowhere to go.

Saturday
Nov072009

Evan

I phoned the domestic violence help line to try to resolve some issues concerning the abuse, and the woman who answered the phone said, ‘If you admit that you are the perpetrator and your wife says she has been victimised, then we can help you’.

Saturday
Nov072009

Alan

Who to talk to for advice - family or friends? No way. I looked up the Yellow Pages. The voice answering the phone at the Rape Crisis Centre said, 'Only women are abused'. I spoke to a doctor. She seemed to listen to my stammering for a few minutes and then while scribbling asked, ‘What are you doing to make her behave that way?’