If you are a male victim of family violence - domestic violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse - this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.



John's personal story

Last year I broke up with my partner following our 3 year relationship from hell. But those three years were nothing compared to what happened next, ranging from dragging my name through the mud, making false accusations against me, threatening to kill our children, and parading her psychotic antics at every court I got dragged through. All of these things I had proof of as I recorded conversations of it but due to privacy laws it was worth its weight in s**t.

Due to her being psychotic I eventually got the kids placed into my care. But I was required to attend court about twice a month. As I work I'm not funded by legal aid as she was and at $1200 a hearing and 5 months later I was financially and emotionally destroyed. In comparison I felt like I just did five rounds in the octagon with Georges St-Pierre. I got my ass kicked at every turn.

Out of options and not knowing what to do I was desperate to come to a resolution. As my lawyer was asking for more money which I didn't have, I gave in to my ex. I fell for that “I miss you and our babies" sob story. “I have been seeing my psych and have been getting help,” “I promise I'll change and treat you better”. As it's not in my nature to be vindictive, revengeful or spiteful I set aside the fact that she tried to blackmail me into returning to her by threatening to have me charged with rape (which she actually tried to do, I recorded the conversation. It's the only reason why I'm not in jail. I got arrested over it). She even informed me that the longer I take to sort things out the harder she is going to financially ruin me.

I set aside the stalking and harassment she put me through. I didn't really have a choice as my expensive lawyer struggled with hers. I wasn't looking forward to self-representation. Anyway I returned to her and the crap has started again and I'm laying on the couch at 2:30am thinking about taking out a life insurance policy, leaving my kids as the beneficiaries and hanging myself as soon as possible cause I can't take this abuse no more and I'm too scared to ask the system for help as there is none for me, as I'm a man and men don't get abused - only woman can.

I understand some tragic and horrific things have happened to some women at the hands of their arsehole boyfriends. I know it's awful. It shouldn't happen and I feel their pain as I'm going through it too, but unlike them I don't get taken seriously, the help available for them isn't there for me. I speak out about the abuse and I get looked at like I'm a fool. Like it's not possible.

How can you say men can't be abused because they're stronger and able to protect themselves so they're not vulnerable. But completely ignore the fact if that's the case we become the abusers. There's no hope, no light and no way out. My heart goes out to you, all the men and woman and children out there going through this. I pray they find the strength each day to get through it. I know I'm struggling.


Michael's personal story

Hi, I will keep this short as I know it will mean nothing in reality. I have had more than one partner abuse me physically and mentally, hit me while I was driving the car, run over me in the car, smash my house up etc. I have called the police many times and they just check on her for bruises and ask her if I touched her then leave, once even saying if I couldn't calm her down I would have to spend the night in the watch house. I am not alone but we keep talking one in three victims are men. I honestly believe it's the other way around just men don't report it or the police don't. It's all bullshit, it really is but no one wants to paint women in a bad light. We just have to put up with bogus figures and abuse and just get on with life.


Geoff's personal story

On my first date with my first girlfriend, we met up in a shopping centre. It was large and while not packed with people, it was fairly busy. We sat down on a seat and started talking. I'm a nervous guy on my first ever date, so I was shy and awkward.

To ‘break the ice’ my then girlfriend lent over and jokingly asked me “What would happen if I screamed out RAPE!!!!” (yelling the word rape, like really yelling). The whole shopping centre stops, turns and stares at me. I instantly die on the inside, and can't even stop myself shriveling up into a ball because of the looks people were giving me. A number of people came over and ask if she is OK and ask what happened. She awkwardly had to tell people that nothing happened and it was a joke however this doesn't stop people continuing to come over. A few people kicked my chair as they walked past and one person spat on me, even though they saw that nothing happened.

We left after that. Because I stupidly thought that I was in love I stayed with her until she broke up with me a few weeks later for “not being her prince charming”. I should have broken it off then and there. I don't know why I didn't hear the alarm bells going off after this incident.

Now Im scared to even be hugged by my little sister in public, out of fear that I'll be accused of being a pedophile among other things.

I know this is just one incident and not a history of domestic violence, but I think it highlights the way that men are treated when it comes to issues like this even in a day to day context.


Brad's personal story

finding this site has made believe in myself and my humanity. when i read the accounts as i do i actually feel inspired to think that there ARE great men. I can only feel that as a Man i'm inspired by your stories of endurance of the harrowing experience that I have also had to endure. Yet, as i write this, i feel that i am in danger, by the woman that i loved so dearly. and your accounts mirror and reflect my own.

where do i begin? probably just as a young man. a man in formation.. meeting a young woman at a bar. it was a moment, love at first sight is how i remember it. now having experienced this relationship of 7 years i feel i know that a woman can be evil. its such a difficult thing to say, i tried so hard, yet i failed .... i'm fully a man now, just broken and or damaged. I have an ex partner who is psychotic and violent. who has used violence, of emotional (verbal) and physical form.. in all forms and times.. it has tested me to my limit.. and my god.. i think she would attempt to take my life..

the domestics at 3 am? her knocking me unconscious? (and going in to attack me whilst? only to be stopped by a guest) stabbing all four tires of my car?.. i had women (friends of hers call me a loser and herself 50 + plus times) . having some of them accuse me of having a sexual relationship with the mentally handicapped girl that lived with us at the time? and the subsequent and most evil way she handled it*.

*i was continually abused about this. “are u Fucking ----- ?” at various times of the night, screaming . i sat at a table while she abused me verbally for 3-4 hours at night on a Friday. (her aunt , cousins daughter and her daughter in an adjacent room) she held a kettle and said.. i will pour this over your head and i don't give a shit if i go to jail or not.. it was at this point my bravery failed and i stood up..

i hope its over..this is part 1. the relationship.. probably the aftermath is to come


Darryl's personal story

I thought it was normal for a man to be bit, kicked, scratched and have cold water thrown over you if you did something wrong. I admit I was using drugs at the time but I told my partner my problem and she chose to stay. Unfortunately I fell in love with her, and it was 3 years of abuse non-stop. I still feel that I truly love my abuser and I still feel I deserved it.

It was not until recently that I joined a mens rights group that I realised I was a victim of DV. Calling Mensline was hopeless, I would wait an hour just to talk to someone and I called a local DV line but it was for women and I heard them laughing in the background when I said I need a counsellor. It is still a hard time and I can't get that person out of my head.

Additionally, my University program at Griffith University, consent program, portrays straight white men as the perpetrators with strong links to known feminists in the resource list. I am so sick of being a victim and a perpetrator. I need help. This has ruined my life. I have never ever ever done anything wrong by a woman yet I am always painted as a child molester at a local pool. I actually like to swim in the kids pool as it the water is low and I can lie back. I have to take my wife with me as the guards say it not appropriate for men to be alone with children in a public pool. Ridiculous. I care about everyone. I would stand up for a woman if she was getting hit and so would most men I know. So, why are we all displayed as the evil ones.