One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Blind Justice's personal story

I met my wife 3 years ago.

At the time I did not know she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend and we had moved into the same building as him. When I did discover this it was too late she was pregnant. During a pregnancy test, it was revealed I was the father. I did what society told me was the right thing to do and marry her against my gut feeling at the time. From early pregnancy she became erratic and violent towards me. Accepting this as pre and post natal depression I persisted and did not give it a second thought. After the baby was born she would become angry and violent, hitting my face, kicked me in the testicles, or throwing cups and plates at me. She also threatened to take my son away and that I would never see him again. She often reminded me that the law sides with the women and anything she said was taken as evidence. She was very controlling and would use psychological games to make me submit to her monetary demands.

I did not wake up even when police attended our house and they named me the perpetrator of family violence unknowingly in LEAP reports. It was 9 months later until I received a summons to appear before a magistrate court to face accusations of financial and emotional violence. The application was not approved by the magistrate. This application was made by a police officer who relied on a baseless accusations and less than the half truth. Coupled with this was the cowardice and pathetic response of the Victoria Police and DHHS who were adamant I was the ‘bad guy’ without proof or evidence and just hearsay accusations. I later discovered that one police officer gave my wife his personal mobile phone number and offered to help my wife perpetrate fraudulent charges of violence against me to help her get a visa. I was very disappointed. I rang the officers, I wrote complaints, I even escalated the matter to anti-corruption boards but to no avail. No one believed me, especially the police. To my saving grace, my wife had hit me in public the week before had been witnessed by a passing Good Samaritan who stopped to check if I was ok. He was more than happy to provide evidence of my wife's assault of me. In the end I did not press charges but favoured the road of forgiveness and giving my wife a chance to seek counselling instead of a prison sentence.

For 99% of the time, my wife is a great wife, a fantastic mum, but when she loses her cool, she hits me and damages property. What she needed at the time was psychological services not propaganda fed to her by DHHS case workers with hidden agendas. I realised my wife has been at a very vulnerable point in her life been manipulated by a propaganda agenda.

Through their negligence, I am taking the Victoria Police, DHHS to VCAT (Equal Opportunity) for Human Rights Abuses; Gender Victimisation as a male. Also I will be proceeding to sue them damages to our family and my wife for gross misconduct and police torts.

Through this process I was able to clearly identify the female violence against me both physical, psychological and sexual abuse started as a boy with my mother. She was a proud feminist burning her torches of freedom in the air in the 60's yet in her liberation she sort vengeance against the male gender and literally enjoyed ‘male bashing’ and making me ashamed to be a man.

I realised that since a young age I have had feminist ideologies beating me.

My advice to men in domestic violence situations where your partner female or male has abused you; if police attend your property first act with caution. Unfortunately your gender is discriminated against with the Victoria Police. They have already decided you are the perpetrator of the domestic violence before you speak.

Before you open the door, remember if you have not committed a crime, do not open the door. Police have no right or entry nor DHHS without a warrant. Be courteous and respectful and first enquire as to the nature of their visit through the screen door. Switch on your video on your phone and record. Tell them exactly why you are filming, because you fear gender bias. Ask for their name and number(s). Ask them the reason for attending your property/ place of residence. Provide facts and record what is being said using your phone. You do not have to answer any questions being asked if you do not feel comfortable.

Next, apply through Freedom of Information for your LEAP/ police record. Ensure that what you discussed has been recorded, and that nothing else has been recorded i.e. false or misleading statements that are made by police.

If you find any discrepancy, contact the Professional Conduct Unit of the Victoria Police and complain. If you feel the attitude of police is still unchanged then apply to VCAT under Equal Opportunity, for male victimisation i.e. gender bias.

Have your story heard for free in a legal setting and summons the officers their to face the video conversations you had with them.

The only real justice is the truth and exposed gender bias for what it is; Human Right's Abuse by the state and their appendages i.e. Victoria Police, DHHS and funded NGO social services.

I have been driven to tell the world about women to male violence, and the feminist agenda fuelling the propaganda in our current media.

I hope to make a difference, to end the war of gender victimisation, to bring reality to the discussion table and the real facts and end gender victimisation in domestic violence and expose Victoria Police, DHHS and Social Services corruption once and for all.

I end my story with a quote by one of the most bravest human rights campaigners in history.

Martin Niemöller prominent pastor who was an outspoken public foe of Adolf Hitler, and who suffered the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps.

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."

One in Three Campaign