« Steve's personal story | Main | Rob's personal story »

Mike's personal story

I met her in 2009 and thought all of my dreams had come true. I look back now and see that I was foolish to rush into having two children with her very quickly. We did not live together but planned to get married just as soon as she finished University studies. I gave up full-time work to look after the baby and toddler. I found myself looking after the children at least 80% of the time on my own and it was hard but very rewarding.

The mother was supposedly studying but after 3 years of this I discovered that she had not even completed one semester. She then dropped out. The abuse towards me and the children was not subtle. Criticisms, smear-campaigns, physical assault, and many threats. The most common being that if I challenged her behaviour, I would never see the children again. She was/is very selfish, lazy and has all the traits of a female sociopath. She would always say, ‘I've got grief, I've got depression’ (her mother had passed away a couple of years before). Initially I wore these excuses.

Eventually I insisted she go to get therapy. She chose someone she had seen previously with another relationship. We both went for counselling separately and she would come skipping out of there like a little schoolgirl. The last time I went I just broke down. Here I was with two little babies and I was being abused by a monster. I ended the relationship and she did as promised and withheld the children from me. They were more bonded to me because I was their main carer.

Thankfully after three weeks she had gotten sick of looking after them because she had no others to do all the hard work for her. The therapist shared with me that she is in fact a sociopath... 'It is obvious when you first meet her,' he said. I asked, ‘why didn't I see it when I first met her?’ ‘Ah,’ he said, ‘you were naïve.’

Anyway a further year of week about went, then she withheld again. I was forced to take her to court. Thankfully a swift interim decision reinstated the week about. Then my worst nightmare came true. The family consultants in the family court who were supposed to (I thought) be impartial did nothing short of bully me, accuse me of being the perpetrator of family violence and my whole story was swept off the table and not even read. Stories of her abuse, an assault charge against her, her admittance of child neglect. Everything of my story became invisible. The last straw was a ‘family report’ done by a woman who was not even a psychologist let alone a child psychologist and she treated me the same and wrote a biased report.

The next hearing, this old man judge who had never worked in the family court before changed the orders so now I am relegated to less than a significant carer. I was driven to the edge of having a nervous breakdown. Years of abuse from her and now this - it got worse instead of better. The system took away my reason for existing. Now I see my daughters' school attendance plummeting. I can't even sign an excursion form. One might think that because the mother has what she wants she would be happy? No! Now she has all the power to continue to torment me. Her Illness means that she will never stop.

Reading many of the stories here, I see there are many female sociopaths out there and they are being helped by a system that is itself demented. My family and I have spent 10's of thousands of dollars whilst she is funded and supported by the government. My children have lost any balance and are destined to spend their childhood with a seriously mentally ill woman who will damage them. Then (I'm always told) they will come back to me (yeah, when they are very disturbed and broken). I am bitter. I am broken. To my two beautiful daughters, daddy did everything he could but the system let you down. Please be strong.

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend