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Malcolm's personal story

Aged in my 40s I discovered that within 6 months of getting married that my now ex (then early 30s) had a previous life of alcohol drugs and crime which she had covered up with an "I am a poor unfortunate single mum with kids" story and act.

I ended up doing everything whilst she got drunk and had affairs. We then had a child (unplanned) and despite my daily pleas, she drank and smoked through every day of the pregnancy.

Soon after the birth she returned to being really drunk and started to beat on me physically with her fists and with anything handy round the house she could grab. I could see this brewing almost daily and did my best to get the kids in bed before she started up. I was often hit and punched until I was pushed out the front door where she would then ring the Police and claim there was a stalker outside.

We separated and she then had me beaten by a friend of hers. Despite my concerns about her violence the authorities let her see our child even after she punched him and broke his teeth aged 3. This violence towards our child continued all the time she claimed it was me and mirroring and recounting her own acts of violence to Police and family court.

Finally after 7 years and 12 false allegations towards me she knocked our child out cold whilst drunk one night and when that child came to, they decided they could take no more so rang me. There was never another visit after that and that child made it clear they would "kill" her if there was ever another visit.

Four 2-year violence restraining orders made no difference to her as she breached them over 40 times in total and only after 25 or so breaches did the Police even bother to charge her.

She has since been convicted of grievous bodily harm towards someone else along with 2 convictions for breaches of restraining orders. Would you believe it, all three were suspended convictions, which meant no jail time, no conviction on her police record and just a fine. This is the problem - the authorities are ALL to ready to believe that the male is always the abuser but not the female.

In this case she was abusive to both myself and our child. Even after the Police Child Abuse Unit interviewed our child at great length and were faced with statements, photos of harm etc, they would not charge her. I hope she rots in hell as she has made it hard for both of us to move on with our lives.

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