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Friday
Jan132017

Lynn's personal story

I have watched over the last 4 years as my son was slowly manipulated and downtrodden by his now ex. It started with her picking arguements with his family and demanding that he take sides. It then moved onto telling him that his friends were trying to make a move on her, all the while telling him how badly abused she was in past relationships and by her parents.

The next stage was falling pregnant although no-one ever saw any evidence of it, not even him she knew how desperately he wanted children. Unfortunately they lost the baby and this opened the door for her to accuse our family of claiming that her pregnancy was faked. This was enough for the family bonds to be seriously shattered, he no longer trusted his family or friends. He was also of the understanding that he couldn't talk to her family either because he was convinced that her family had abandoned her and couldn't be trusted. Mission accomplished - he now had no-one left in his world that he felt he could trust.

The next stage was to convince him that they were being alienated by people in the town we live in, as its a small rural town it was easy for her to do this, before long we got a phone call from him saying they were moving and would tell us where when they were ready. I couldn't believe that our world had been turned upside down so quickly and that he couldn't see what was happening, she had already kicked him out on three separate occasions for things like inviting two of his work mates to their house while she was out at the movies with a friend and not telling her about an ex girlfriend that he'd had in secondary school. It all made very little sense.

Before they left we found out they were pregnant again, they had a farewell party which only her friends and family were invited to and then they were gone. Some months later we received a phone call that our son had been in an accident he was ok but she just thought we should know. We were allowed to go see them, after this we started getting calls asking for help in various ways.

It came closer to time for the baby to be born and the contact increased. After the baby came it wasn't long before she started ringing to tell us that she was sending our son back to live with us because he wasn't being responsible enough or supporting her. On a number of occasions I asked him what was going on, he was very reluctant to talk about it but on almost every occasion I rang he was at home with the baby and she was out somewhere and she never did make him leave.

Eventually they moved back to our town and lived with us for a short time. They moved into their own place and the whole process of drama started again. Then she moved out leaving my son with debts he us still struggling to meet and he is having a bit of trouble getting work. He is still trying to keep her happy. He jumps when she says so and even helps to look after her new partners kids because he doesn't want his child to go without because of adult behaviour.

The saddest part is he can no longer sleep in bed as he wasn't allowed. He has no self esteem and he still doesn't trust his family. He tells us lies to keep the peace and she now has two men making sure her world works for her because its bloody hard work when she's upset because everyone pays and she finds excuses for keeping my son's child away from him like he's not mentally stable enough and he can't even look after himself so how can he care for a child. And yet he still believes her every word because he says he can't help who he fell in love with.

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