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Thursday
Sep012016

Steve's personal story

My story is like the others. I met a narcissist partner, she hooked me with her sad story of how mistreated she was by her exes. I should have seen the signs which I did but still her delusions of grandeur for us and pressure to commit worked. She had 4 kids and different dads and told me the first 2 boys' dad was a violent criminal and never saw his boys and boy number 3's dad left when she fell pregnant. And number 4 boy's father was abusive to her boys and her and also was having a affair. The guy before me with her went to court over DV claims but they both got protection orders. And both other fathers I was told had DV on them and the 1st father had a 5 year DV which she was proud of putting on him but she admitted to me of setting him up and getting him assaulted badly and then ran off with the boys.

The violence started with me when she tried to get a guy at a party to go bash her ex-boyfriend with DVO. When I confronted her she assaulted me but true borderline personality disorder she convinced me she was drugged and didn't remember the event just days after. I believed her version and she was a perfect partner for months then she pressured me in moving in and I did.

Then she told me she was pregnant then the abuse and violence started. And her sons were 17, 15, 12 & 3 yrs old. The boys were also violent to each other and the 15 yr old was attacking his mother and myself, even police were called numerous times but this boy was like her as she was violent to her boys assaulting them with punching and hitting, and using objects to smash the children in the face. I was shocked but she said it's because of being pregnant and often threatened to kill our unborn son. She did attempt it by taking a lot of tablets which devastated me.

I was on the phone to 000, she said "I will just deny it" and became calm whist on the phone. I rang the police when she was assaulting me she said "who will they believe?" and started hitting herself in the face, "go on" she said. It was a constant threat for me to leave the house and the emotional and physical abuse continued and her son went into child safety care as he continually assaulted us.

Our son was born and it didn't take long for it start again. She tried to kill me and my survival instinct saved my life, she then was suicidal, getting a knife, and asked me to take our son and leave which I did. But then she rang the police stating that I had abducted a breastfed baby. Lucky I had friends talking to her - they told the police the real story.

I was the stay at home dad for for my child's safety plus she was talking me into dropping the DV on her and that she was seeking professional help. I thought things would change and felt sorry for her mental health issues. I was the stay at home dad for our son till 20 months then she couldn't get a job so I did. But her son moved back home and the violence started again and they kicked me out. I then did 50/50 shared care of our son but 6 months after it was working well, she got a new vehicle and had huge payments. So she didn't hand my son back and went to the courts and put a DV order on me and haven't had any contact with our son for over 3 months.

I was shocked and had no rights to see my son. She was the abuser and I put a DV order on her which she consented in court to the order. She even admitted to threats to kill our son and other crazy stuff in her response to the DV. And I am still fighting her DVO. She has no evidence but I have a real strict temp order.

I finally got some contact with my son, but only 1 weekend a fortnight, no more. But her violent son spends all day with my son playing Xbox adult games and I have no right to see him until it goes to the family court. My son just turned 3. He is now violent to me and my family. He smashes toys into my face and punches me in the face closed fist which his 18 year old brother taught him. I told this 18 year old not to teach him fighting. He is 2. But now my son cuddles into me, saying "hide". I asked why. He said mummy scared of daddy. But he told me mummy has a daddy in her room. My son is on the Protection Order and I rang both the Police and Child safety and no one cares.

This is DV to my son and me, this scaring my son to be afraid of daddy is emotional harm and if he is scared of the new daddy in his mum's room as he sleeps there too. It's just wrong and extremely worrying for myself but I have no rights at all but she has a 2 year Protection Order against her. So I as a victim have no rights and Police say "see the courts about it".

So 4 years of her abuse and now I still am under control with no extra contact allowed so my son gets taught to hate his dad by them and be violent to his dad. So this Protection Order means shit. I had 50/50 week about and now 6 nights a month. If she had the DV order on me and I was suicidal, I wouldn't get to see my son but she can because of her gender. And her son even has other assault charges on him but they both have my son and I have no previous police history or DV history.

The mother has and keeps my son just for financial gain and to hurt me. My son is 3 years old, still in nappies, and this is child number 5 for her. Great parenting skills putting a child in front of an Xbox! This system doesn't help fathers at all and legal aid is a joke. No orders no rights no money no chance. Fathers get screwed over again. So my son becomes violent like herself and her boys and gets told untrue bad things about dad.

When is there going to be someone to stand up for the child's right to see his father that has always protected him but legal loopholes and a malicious mother have taken boy number 5 away from another father. Well this violence/child safety issues has gone a few generations with the grandmother, mother & her boys. How can a father win when laws protect violent mothers. Just because she hasn't been charged doesn't mean it doesn't happen and all the fathers were violent only... this violence is always around the mother.

She has taken the child's right to spend time with the father away and the law gives her the right to do it. Any lawyers out there wanting to help my son from harm? Because legal aid sucks. If only I had the funds then I might have a chance. Staying strong because I love my son, lucky he gives me strength to survive this ordeal. All fathers out there be patient. Hopefully justice will come and the child will not be harmed too much. And the courts will still enable you to have contact so the child can see you. Love them regardless of the lies told to them. Good luck fathers.

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