One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Jackson's personal story

It is sad for me to say that I am one of the one-in-three, but I am so proud and honoured to be surrounded by so many brave people. My male partner of three years has had instances over the course of our relationship of being abusive towards me. This was mostly due to his bad upbringing, and his lack of coping mechanisms, decision-making skills, or anger management. He had made threats, he had been verbally abusive on multiple occasions, he was manipulative, and he would psychologically try to undermine my self-confidence.

All of this changed 6 months ago when I gave him one final chance, after he moved interstate and we tried a long distance relationship- I set down the rules, and said to him that if it continued, that I was done with him. I said to him that there were three deal-breakers for me-- if he ever cheated, touched drugs, or was abusive to me, that I would walk. He understood, and we tried starting anew.

However, two weeks ago, when I was visiting him interstate, his insecurities and lack of control got the better of him. During a fight that we had one night, he verbally abused me and claimed that I was cheating on him with my best friend (which was completely false). I warned him not to speak that way about me, and he violently took my phone from my hands as he feared what I would do. The next 10 minutes saw him become infuriated as I told him that “it was over!” He is bigger and stronger than me, and physically tried restraining me, bending my arm backwards to the point I thought it would break. He left bruises on my arms and legs. He also held me down on the bed, threatened to “bash my head in”, and claimed he would kill my best friend.

I was forced to leave the next morning, spending all my savings on an emergency flight home. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I did it. Because I knew that if I tried doing what I had always done, if I tried to “fix it”, if I apologised when I had done nothing wrong, that I would be enabling his bad behaviour, succumbing to an abusive partner, and letting myself down. I took a stand against him. And he blew his one final chance with me. Now I am pursuing a relationship with that best friend that had “caused all the issues”, according to my ex. My best friend is loving, caring, treats me with respect and dignity, and has helped me so much. Hopefully this can be a reassuring story for any other men who feel they are “stuck” in a relationship, particularly those like me who are in a homosexual relationship and may be more vulnerable. You can do it- you are strong and important, and you can be happy. You are better to be happy alone than sad with someone.

One in Three Campaign