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A substantial part of my inability to confine those horrid events to a contained memory with little day-to-day impact is the repeated denial by government, social services, the media and outspoken domestic violence protagonists of even the existence of serious female abuse of their male partners. Thus each time the topic of spousal, and particularly of sexual misbehaviour is mentioned and I happen to see or hear it, I feel personally marginalised and diminished. The knife is again turned in the wound - it cannot heal. I am routinely classified as the emotional, physical and sexual abuser within troubled relationships because I am male. It is a recurring insult. It is a potent reminder of the utterly powerless despair I felt so many years ago.

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