Why are male victims of domestic violence more likely to suffer in silence? One man explains why he kept the problem to himself...
I’m task-oriented. I will discuss my aims, my projects, my achievements with anyone. But if you asked me how I was feeling, the answer you would get would be , “I’m fine,” even if I wasn’t.
It just wasn’t part of my nature to talk about my feelings and emotions. If I felt hurt, I wasn’t going to make an issue of it – I certainly wouldn’t let anyone know – I’d simply dust myself down, pick myself up and carry on. I would talk about what I could do or what I was going to do, but never about how I felt or the circumstances behind emotions. I would say that this is true for most men that our innermost angst remains locked away in our psyche.
For a long time, I didn’t recognise the violent assaults on me as Domestic Abuse. I’d made a wedding vow that included the words, “ for better or for worst, in sickness and in health.” The actions perpetrated against me, I reasoned, was because of some undiagnosed illness caused by the stress of bereavement and maybe even physiological changes due to childbirth. My pleas to my ex-wife to seek medical attention for her extreme anger outbursts were ignored.