One in Three Campaign

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John's personal story

This goes back to mid 1980's. My abuse started about a year after we were married. She used to hit me in places that would not show, but later a slap across the face or being hit around the back or the neck with an object became her favourite. The mental abuse was the worst as it preceded the physical abuse. My wife was not a drunk but had a short temper. Anything would set her off. If I was 10 minutes late home I would be caused of having an affair. Then her temper would build and build until she lashed out. This lasted another 5 years until I moved out.

We had 2 children I didn't want to leave with her. But the way the family courts go she got custody. My biggest disappointment was that no-one believed me. The only help out there was for women. One help for centre for women told me women don't hit men and if she did you probably deserved it. I was lucky I got out as she remarried a couple of years later and he ended up in hospital with a broken jaw. He claimed he fell down some stairs. A couple of months later she tried to cut off his private parts while he was asleep. But he woke up in time because of the pain. She was charged with assault but he withdrew the charges and left.

The trouble for men is that no-one believe you and there is still very little help for abused men.