Lucky Man's personal story
My partner and I at her 30th birthday when an argument broke out between herself and her sister. When I went over to try and resolve it, she hit me in the face. My mother was nearby and she heard the hit. In the morning she apologised and I gave her benefit of the doubt and forgave her; “she was drunk she didn’t mean it” I said to myself. My mother supported my decision but she was understandably profoundly upset at the fact someone had hit her son.
A few months later it happened again. This time we were both out at the pub. Security removed her for being too intoxicated and when I as told this I went outside to take her home. With help from other patrons I put her in a taxi. When the taxi got home, I had to try get her inside myself. She was very intoxicated and I was drunk myself it wasn’t going to be easy. When I tried to pick her up off the back seat of the taxi she punched me in the face. I managed to pick her up still to take her inside, but when we got o the front path we tripped over each other’s legs and fell. When I tried to help her up she spat on me. Taken back but still determined, I managed to pick her up still and I sat her on the verandah. I asked for the front door keys she refused to give them to me and she punched again this cutting my lip. I decided to film what she was doing I caught a 13 second video of her standing up and spitting at me again. I gave up trying to get the keys I was mad now and just wanted to get inside. I went around the back of the house and broke in. Right about that moment it all overcame me and I just slumped to the ground and cried. I’d not felt that degraded since my previous relationship (id previously been victim to psychological abuse at the hands of another woman, which resulted in me almost losing my life and being diagnosed with PTSD); I just felt darkness I sat there in a trance. Eventually she let herself I. with the keys, pushed passed me, vomited in the bathroom, walked over me where I was sitting and went to sleep. The only thing she said to me in the morning was that I could’ve “closed the door” as I left. I was determine to leave her for this as I had left my previous partner…but I went back. By this stage we were engaged and I felt I was too far committed to her…this was a terrible decision on my part.
The third and final time she hit me was again after a night out. Not as lengthy as the second time, she lost her phone and when I found it and handed it to her (admittedly with some attitude, I knew it was in the house she wasn’t listening) she hit me across the head and threw her s Gaga ring across the house…then demanded it back when I sent and got it. “For fuck sake” was her response when I told her what she had done whilst she was drunk the night before.
The relationship eventually ended. She had reunited a friendship with my previous partner (yes the one that had psychologically abused me, we’re from a town where everyone knows everyone) and this eventually lead to her putting me out of my misery and ending it. Ultimately I dodged a bullet they were both finally out of my life.
Looking back I’ll admit I was far from perfect. I was a heavy drinker too and she’d started talking to my ex I’d even messaged an ex of mine to see how she’d like it; it was petty. I acted out of vindictiveness, she and I had grown close in the first place because she was my main ear to lend about the very same ex she’d ended up being friends with again. Obviously there was red flags everywhere I wish I had noticed them.
But nothing I did nothing to deserve being hit and spat on. Obviously her friends had all rallied around her, bought her flowers told me it was my fault for being hit by her because I didn’t leave. I was told I was playing the victim. Made excuses that she had been drunk when she did what she did. Imagine if these things were said to a female victim of abuse by a male? I thought they were my friends too but I learned non of them ever were.
The police dropped the ball when I went to ask for advice as to how to collect some things I had at my house, and explained what happened to me the officers response was “so mate what did you do you must of did something?” I asked to speak with another officer and he was a nice bloke he helped me properly.
After it all ended I got a worse for a period, was a heavy drinker myself, was angry and even got into a physical altercation. But eventually I moved to the city and started over.
I’m not engaged to a wonderful girl we are very much in love, she’s heard all about my story and supports me. It’s also been about 600 days since I’ve woken up with a hangover. Instead of being angry about what was done to me I took ownership of things I wasn’t doing right. I now tell my story to help other men who have been abused, men with PTSD and men who have tried to take their lives.
Onwards and upwards. I’m a lucky guy.