Hanging Carrot's personal story
Thursday, November 22, 2018
One in Three Campaign

Everything was fine until she took antibiotics which led to a cessation of breast milk for our 4 week old boy, our first, and only. Within a week she was going out everyday to “get her head cleared” at her friends, leaving me making the bottles 4 hourly, washing them, sterilising them, bathing him, primary care role pretty much. This went on for about 4 weeks before I grew concerned about her mental well-being. I talked to our maternal nurse of her actions and was informed that yes it does sound like post-natal depression.

Babies make time fly and another month flew by, the worst, because she was not sleeping at home for it. I texted her a photo of our son as I had been doing saying good nite Mummy I miss you. I never locked the front door while she was out this night. The door creaked open and I saw her and was immediately happy saying you've come back. She said put some clothes on my friends are here and we are taking him to sleep over at my friends place for 3 nights.

As two guys walked in followed by 3 girls, one of the guys started to yell at me so I grabbed my phone and as I was about to record he had punched me fracturing my nose. My elderly mother who lives with us was woken and saw me bleeding and she told them she was calling the police. They all leave the home and I realised that my son was gone so I ran out and video recorded the car they were in and before they could leave police arrived.

The police asked if there were any orders which I replied no. Any family court orders? No. They said they couldn't stop her from taking our son but I could lay charges on her and the guy that assaulted me. The police asked me if I wanted to take out a violence order on her but I said no. The police reported my assault to victims of crime. The next day I called the maternal nurse and told her what had happened. The maternal nurse then called child protection, and child protection executed a search warrant on her friends' house looking for my son but she said that her Mum had come earlier that day and took him interstate. The child protection worker told me that it is not normal for a mother to leave a 3 month old and travel interstate without being present. They tell me to apply for a priority recovery order at the family court which I do the same day. The next day I serve her. One week later she serves me with a family violence order that she applied for stating the exact opposite of what happened the night she came and took our son.

She breached her own order that she had made on me by coming to our house with 2 guys again. I called the police and they told them to leave and I had to lodge a cross order. My mother and I lived in fear. Needless to say the recovery order was not successful due to the interim violence order still being in place and a passage of 9 months until heard. Seemed both courts waited to see what the other would do. Another 9 months passed till last week I walked out of court with an intervention order protecting me and my son, which i should have had at the initial hearing of my recovery order. Also now I have the the guilty verdicts from my assault, I'm waiting on VOCAT compensation. I don't know how it works but, no amount of money can replace the lost time since I've seen my son. I will miss a second Christmas waiting for the family court trial date where apparently I'm up against the great grandmother of my son that has had him since that night. She doesn't let my ex see my son because she doesn't like my ex's new boyfriend.

I was treated horribly by the magistrates that heard each time I went in for the family violence orders. Not one looked at my cross application and I was not given a chance to show the police report, nor the statements which helped with the guilty verdicts of my assault, nor my treating psychologist report who counsels me for post traumatic stress. I literally am the primary victim of a violent crime that was perpetrated by the mother of my son, treated like a vindictive person that applied for a cross violence order in retaliation to her initial violence order. Seriously I only was handed it because she did not turn up to the court. I wish she did so then the judge would have had a real eye opener.

Article originally appeared on One in Three Campaign (http://www.oneinthree.com.au/).
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