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Dave's personal story

I'm sure my story is unlike any other you've ever heard.

I've been married for over 25 years. I am a fairly deep sleeper and my wife used to take a long while to fall to sleep. I think she was always jealous of me for this. About 12/14 years ago my wife started deliberately waking me several times each night. At first I didn't know what was happening but occasionally I'd stay awake and feel the kick or firm tap from her every hour or so. I asked her to stop this but it never has. She likes being awake at night - regular visits to the toilet and reading until late. I like to go to sleep early and wake early to exercise.

Eventually it started to really hurt me physically - I'd suffer chest pains from the blast of adrenaline several times each night upon being woken, plus the chronic tiredness during the day. I tried different things to stop her. I tried being very attentive, or throwing my arms and legs onto her when she woke me, or doing it back to her, or getting up and going for a walk whenever she woke me. Nothing has ever worked. I've no doubt she is in such a routine she cannot stop - plus she gets some perverse enjoyment out of doing it to me - she has a foul temper and loves to fly into a rage.

I ended up with very high blood pressure so my doctor sent me for a 24 hour blood pressure check - this showed my BP skyrocketing at night. My doc thought it meant I had a form of sleep apnea - from irregular shallow breathing - so I went to a sleep clinic and they gave me a continuous pressure air machine to wear at night. It made a lot of noise so my wife made me move out of the bed. That was over 5 years ago.

I now try to sleep in another room downstairs but she continues to come and wake me during the night. This has gone on for far too long. There is no love in this marriage as I feel totally and completely betrayed by my wife. I do all I can to avoid her. I haven't exacted any revenge for her incessant nightly attacks on me. I firmly believe she is mentally ill. Although many years ago her rather hateful mother used to gloat about how she kicked her husband every night if he ever snored. My insane wife learned her tricks from her mother.

This problem still continues regardless of wherever I find to sleep in and around our house. She is clearly mentally ill but takes pleasure from destroying my sleep every night. Our kids are adult and I desperately want to leave my wife and move far away. I am sick and tired of being a victim of my wife's abuse.

Can you give me any thoughts or ideas on how I can take action. I would leave her with our house etc just to get away from her constant attacks.

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