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John's personal story

I married my second wife in 1998. I was a fit youngish man enjoying the reality of my new life as well as enjoying a successful military career. My new wife relocated to Sydney (where I was posted).

After the birth of my first child, a beautiful boy, I began noticing a change. Progressively, my wife was becoming increasingly verbally abusive to me. In 2002 My wife just up and returned to Queensland. She cited being unhappy in Sydney and began putting increased pressure on me to leave the A.D.F.

In 2003, my wife and I had a beautiful girl and things were okay again for a very short while. Finally, in 2004, after being constantly told that she would never allow me to see me children again unless I discharged, I left my job of a lifetime. Despite having all the networks in place to ensure a bright future for my family, I relocated to Brisbane and started again.

I commenced a law degree and for the next three years worked part-time jobs and looked after the children. In 2005, my wife stated she wished to have another child. I wanted to wait until I had completed my degree but again my wife bullied me into it. I was blessed with another girl and while I looked after the household, worked part time and continued my degree, my wife went to work in the city.

Things again escalated to a point where I was constantly berated and verbally abused in front of the children, family and friends. I was physically abused on a number occasions with a phone handset, cooking implements, including knives thrown at me and quite often the back of her hand.

In 2013, I finally and most painfully left my marriage. After not being allowed to see my children for over 4 months, I applied to the magistrates court for protection orders to prevent her continuing berating and abuse on social media, by texts and to prevent her from withholding contact with my children.

When I attended court for the mention, I was approached by a volunteer from Mensline. After I had informed him I was in fact the applicant, he abruptly left. The Police prosecutor was nice as pie until I identified myself as the applicant. The magistrate berated me and I was treated like I was wasting his time but I still managed to have the matter go to a hearing.

Prior to attending the hearing, I was bombarded by texts and email from my ex wife stating that unless I dropped the DV matter, I would not see the children again. I then attended court and withdrew the matter, citing the information from my ex wife and the treatment I received in the court. Later that month, I was reluctantly given half the holidays and every second weekend after a favourable report from the Independent Children's Lawyer.

Since then I have been constantly abused and berated in front of the children, she has ignored the court orders and withheld the children on a whim and as I now approach another battle, I was issued with a temporary Protection Order after an incident where my ex-wife physically attacked me and my mother, scratched my face, scratched and punched a 75 year old lady and I'm in trouble for defending my mother! And so it goes again!

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