One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Simon's personal story

I am a victim of domestic violence

I looked at your website tonight, wow, 4 years ago when I had her arrested, I thought I was alone.

It's been a couple of years now, and I check on this website from time to time to see if we are getting anywhere.

Turns out getting her arrested was a smart move.

We get on well, we went to mediation run by the Anglican Church but she was still agro so then I took her to a lawyer (mediator) and I don't know what happened but she left me alone.

There's still some residue, questions on how I live my life but I am free, free, free. Oh boy it's been 4 years and I can't tell you how horiffic it is to lose yourself but how wonderful it is to get me back!

Still a bit annoyed about giving her the AVO she put on me the night the cops arrested her. The cops said “It's tit for tat.”

I said “well if it's tit for tat let her have it then.”

The cops said “No, AVOs have teeth, treat it very seriously.”

So I let her have the AVO. I was thinking of the future - the future when the punching stops.

Discretion is the better part of valour, eventually we managed to keep our 3 year old out of it.

My daughter is a happy 7 year old now.

The mediator at the Anglican service said “gee, I've never seen two people try so hard to do this” or words to that effect.

We said, “Oh shucks you are just encouraging us.”

He said “No way, I am serious. 99 per cent of people come here and argue. You two are putting your child first.”

We worked out earlier that if you put your children first your arguments:

1. Don't seem that important

2. and if they are important you get them sorted quickly.

Put your kids first.

The second mediator said the same thing.

He reckoned me and my abuser were unique in our sorting out and protection of our child.

Here's a word of advice to anyone living in hell:

CONTACT THE POLICE

It doesn't matter what happens to her, you cannot live like this.

Community healthcare also offers Psychological Counselling for free - make use of it.

The female counsellor is usually booked out for yonks, while the male counsellor is usually available.

Remember, you are not alone!

One in Three Campaign