Barvis
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
One in Three Campaign

I met and fell in love with a beautiful lady. We lived together for 22 years, had 3 healthy sons. We never had any domestic violence, never any police problems, never any aggressive arguments. We were able to discuss whatever we wanted, we had respect for each other and supported each other. After 22 years we grew apart. Our divorce was generally painless and our settlement did not involve a court. We actually live next to each other to this day.

One year later I met a lady who is 11 years younger than me. At first our relationship was amazing. I told her things that my ex-wife did not know. She showed only a small amount of jealousy towards me. Then one night I found her crawling on the floor. She had a friend up from Nimbin and she was off her face. From that day this extremely jealous monster appeared.

She defamed one of my good friends to his wife. She started spreading false rumours about my ex-wife. She constantly verbally abused all of the female and male friends I had. Over a period of 2 years she moved in and out of my house 4 times. She was fanatical about having a child with me and became pregnant. She told me that smoking a small amount of marijuana stopped her from getting morning sickness. It wasn't until halfway through the pregnancy that I found out she had smoked a large bag of dope in 3 weeks. When I asked her about it she moved out the next day.

During the period we lived together she accused me of having 18 affairs. Another night I caught her going through my personal computer. I asked her to turn it off. The next morning I found out she had kept reading very personal family letters. Once again she moved out. I found out that while she was pregnant she went down to the Northern Rivers and lived on alcohol and dope for a week.

After our daughter was born she got worse, and on one occasion after her and a friend of hers were stoned, she bit me on the arm. She then called the police stating that I had stolen my own daughter. She moved out again. Her son, who at the time was 7, told me that he had to look after himself, my daughter and mummy because mummy was so wasted that he could not wake her up. This happened twice.

After the baby was born she became very depressed and tried to jump out of my moving car. I went to the local crisis centre and pleaded for some help, but none was given. She started to constantly lie, accusing me of stalking her and hitting her. The town I live in is very small and the rumour mill started.

She started to hang out with one of the local drug dealers and in March last year she told me that she was not right and I could have my daughter. She dropped my daughter at my house and sped off. She was still breastfeeding my daughter so I took my daughter to her mum's house that night. The local drug dealer was sleeping there and she would not feed my daughter so I walked out with my daughter. The mum lunged at me, ripping my face open as I was holding my daughter above my head.

I went to the police, and went home. The mum turned up 1 hour later and attacked me again. The police came and arrested her. All I wanted was for the mum to get therapy, but she wouldn't. She still blames me to this day for her shit life. I did not want to place a DVO on her, but in the end the police placed it on her, so she told the police that she was scared of me and they placed a DVO on me.

In October she went out with the same drug dealer and the next morning when she was meant to be looking after my daughter I ended up taking her to the accident and emergency department of the local hospital. She was in there for 5 hours. Whenever the doctor tried to take some blood she would start screaming, so in the end they gave up.

My first legal bill was $10,000. She kept delaying the process and because she was getting legal aid she did not give a shit. One minute she would tell her solicitor and the police that she was scared of me then the next day she would ask me to go out with her. She has taken 5 DVOs out against past boyfriends and also her father. I now get my daughter 3 days a week.

I am amazed at the bias in the system. She is constantly late dropping off my daughter, but the police won't call her. If I'm 5 minutes late they are on the phone to me. I regularly get lectured by the local police about being violent. I have never hit or hurt her. I have been physically abused by her 4 times. I have sent legal letters trying to stop her defaming me, costing thousands of dollars, but she continues. I sent her 4 text messages in the space of half an hour asking her to stop hurting me and my daughter. She went to the police and I was up for harassment. Then the judge lectured me about domestic violence. The assumption is always that the man is guilty. This is not all that has happened.

Article originally appeared on One in Three Campaign (http://www.oneinthree.com.au/).
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